


when you're lost (I will find you)

by green_tea31



Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-14
Updated: 2019-08-14
Packaged: 2020-08-23 16:45:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,024
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20246056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/green_tea31/pseuds/green_tea31
Summary: Tiberius Kovacs dies eighteen months after Jack left to hunt him down. Mac shouldn’t know this, shouldn’t even be aware of where Jack and his task force are when they finally take the bastard down, but Mac has never been one to let others dictate what he should and shouldn’t know or do.(Jack doesn't come home. Mac gives him three months before hunting his partner down.)





	when you're lost (I will find you)

**Author's Note:**

> So, I've been in a bit of a dark place during the last two months, dealing with an unexpected health scare that thankfully turned out to be (mostly) harmless. This is pretty much the only thing my muse would let me write during that time. Hope we're back on track now.  
This is an idea I had while writing another fic and I might one day explore it in greater depth, but for now I 've still got a lot of WIPs to concentrate on.
> 
> As always self-betaed. All mistakes are my own.
> 
> Title from "The Man To Hold The Water" by Rob Thomas.

_“Would I have had to hunt you down to some Mexican bar with cheap tequila just to drag your ass back to LA?” Jack swallows heavily._

_“I would have been the expensive tequila, Mac. Always go for the expensive stuff, thought I’d taught you that…”_

_(excerpt from "i made it (through the darkest part of the night)")_

...

Tiberius Kovacs dies eighteen months after Jack left to hunt him down. Mac shouldn’t know this, shouldn’t even be aware of where Jack and his task force are when they finally take the bastard down, but Mac has never been one to let others dictate what he should and shouldn’t know or do, especially where Jack is concerned. He may have agreed to let Jack go without Mac there to watch his back, but he never promised not to use every tool in his considerable arsenal to keep track of his partner.

The morning after the day it all finally ends, Mac can see the truth of it in Matty’s nervous smile and the slight hesitation in his dad’s eyes before they start debriefing for their next mission. The fact that neither of them even mentions that Jack should technically be on his way back in a matter of weeks tells Mac a lot more about how it went down than it doesn’t.

Jack isn’t dead – Mac knows that much and takes comfort in that knowledge. Desi is caught up by the time they return from the op, the team still flush with another successful mission under their belt. Mac isn’t entirely sure _when_ she found out between getting shot at and running around the shadier parts of northern France, but there’s a knowing glint in her eyes whenever she looks at Matty during team night at Mac and Bozer’s that night.

Still – there’s no official word to the rest of the team and Mac has the sneaking suspicion he knows why that is.

He gives Jack three months.

Mac’s contact (the one he technically doesn’t have and that even Matty doesn’t know about) tells him when the task force members are officially send back to their home countries after a month. Mac takes a deep breath, curses Jack’s inability to see himself as the important member of their family that he is, and proceeds to take out the gun runners chasing him and Desi through a particularly hostile part of South America with extreme prejudice and the liberal application of household cleaners. Desi just raises an eyebrow at the larger-than-usual explosions and helps him build a few more bombs.

After two months, Matty’s smile becomes guiltier every time they see her, and Mac is pretty sure that it won’t take much longer for Riley and Bozer to catch up to the fact that something is wrong. Mac starts planning, because he’s pretty sure that he needs a plan if he ever wants to get Jack back in whatever capacity the other man will allow him to.

He has some rather vague fantasies about chaining Jack to his bed until he promises to never leave LA (Mac) again, but realizes that Jack wouldn’t thank him for that. Also, Jack has no idea that Mac is head over heels in love with him and would probably run in the other direction if he ever found out.

Mac starts making some vague allusions to taking some time off instead. It helps that Matty sends them on two back-to-back missions that leave the team exhausted and ready to drop. So, when Mac requests a two-week vacation two and a half months after Jack didn’t come home, Matty looks almost relieved. Bozer and Riley look suspicious though, and Mac strongly suspects that Matty is going to have to come clean sooner rather than later if she doesn’t want to have an outright mutiny on her hands. Mac would care a lot more about keeping the peace on the team if he hadn’t put every ounce of energy he has left into making himself believe that he isn’t chasing a ghost. That he’s enough to bring Jack back.

To bring him _home_.

He almost manages to leave without anyone noticing on the first day of his vacation, but Desi catches him at home just before his ride to the airport is due to arrive.

“Mac, I-“ She’s standing in his kitchen, nervously wringing her hands and there’s a hesitation to their interaction that hasn’t been there in months. Mac isn’t sure how to breach that gap, doesn’t know if he should, given that Desi too has been keeping something important from him for months now.

Never mind that he already knows about it.

“Here,” she says, thrusting a piece of paper at him. There’s a name on it, hastily written in Desi’s surprisingly elegant handwriting.

_Ramon Gutierrez _

“I’m pretty sure Matty and Oversight don’t know that you know, but I know that you’re a lot better at the whole spy part of our job than they give you credit for sometimes, so-“ She shrugs and smiles a little hesitantly. Mac smiles back, suddenly so very grateful to have her in his life.

“I don’t know exactly where Jack is, but that’s the name of a contact that I’m pretty sure _should_ know. You already know he’s in Mexico, Gutierrez can probably tell you where.”

Mac pockets the scrap of paper and hugs Desi who hugs him back after only hesitating a little. He steps back and grabs his bag.

“You know you have a place in this family whether or not Jack is here, right?” Mac asks. Desi closes her eyes and if Mac didn’t know better he’d almost say that she’s trying to blink away tears.

She smiles at him. “Bring him home Mac. I’ll make sure the fallout at the Phoenix isn’t too bad.” 

“Thanks, partner.”

…

Finding Gutierrez is a lot easier than Mac expected, but the man practically advises his name on every bit of available space in the little town where Mac lost Jack’s trail a few weeks ago. He’s a surprisingly jovial guy, offering services as a guide, and when Mac shows him a photo of Jack and hands him a decent amount of cash, Gutierrez is all too willing to lead Mac to the cantina where Jack’s been busy watering himself for the past few weeks.

Jack is sitting in the back, head thrown back, seemingly sleeping, but Mac knows better, because he tenses up as soon as Mac enters the bar. Jack has perfected the art of looking like he belongs into any place while simultaneously cataloguing everything that happens around him. Mac walks towards his partner with slow, measured steps, aware that Jack would probably try to make a run for it right now if Mac hadn’t deliberately chosen the one path through the room that would make it impossible for Jack to reach any exit before Mac did.

Jack’s eyes narrow as Mac comes to a halt before his table. There’s an edge in that whiskey-brown gaze that Mac hasn’t seen in a really long time, and Mac realizes that he may have to slightly rethink his strategy to get Jack on a plane home with him, because his partner is likely on a hair trigger right now. Mac isn’t leaving Mexico without Jack even if he has to break him a little first. They can work on putting him back together when they’re back in LA.

“What are you doin’ here, kid?” Jack asks, voice openly hostile, but Mac can make out the almost invisible tremor in Jack’s hand where it’s laying on the table next to a half-empty bottle of tequila. Mac takes a seat, close enough to smell the (fairly expensive) tequila on Jack's breath, grabs the bottle and takes a sip, the alcohol warm and burning on his tongue.

“You look like shit,” Mac says, watching as Jack’s eyebrows attempt to climb into his hairline. He lets out a rough chuckle and looks surprised that he let Mac’s attempt at lightening the mood get to him.

Mac’s heart clenches.

"Riley’s gonna be pissed you went to Mexico without her,” Mac adds and takes another sip. Jack swallows and looks at his hands. Mac only just resists the urge to put his own hands over Jack’s.

“Go home, Mac.”

“No.”

“Mac-“

“You really think you can just go hide in Mexico and I won’t come looking, Jack? I know we’ve been apart for a while, but I didn’t think you’d forgotten that much about me."

Jack looks furious and Mac braces himself for a verbal blow he _knows_ is coming. Jack is nothing if not precise with his strikes and it doesn’t matter if he uses words, a knife, or a gun, he always hits his target.

“Maybe I didn’t want to come back, you ever thought about that, huh? Not everything revolves around you, kid. Maybe I was just ready to move on.” Mac can see Jack regretting his words almost the moment he says them, and so he just breathes through the hurt, knowing Jack will likely apologize for going after one of Mac’s most vulnerable spots later.

“_Shit_. Mac, I-“

“Three months.”

“What?” Jack looks confused, not sure what Mac is getting at, but he isn’t finished.

“I gave you three months. Wanna know why?” Mac asks, watching as understanding slowly spreads over Jack’s face. Jack looks anguished and he reaches out to Mac, stopping short of actually touching him. Mac puts his feelings for his partner into a tightly locked box and continues.

“I didn’t think you’d do this, not after I hurt you so much by not answering your messages when I was in Nigeria,” Mac says, shrugging, pretending his words don’t hurt him as much as they’re hurting Jack right know. “But you’re right. Not everything revolves around me. Guess we’re even now, so you can come home.”

“Dammit, Mac. No, that’s- you have no idea how wrong you are,” Jack reaches out again and this time he grabs Mac’s hand with his own. “I didn’t – I _couldn’t_ come back. Not after what I’ve done.” Jack raises Mac’s hand to his face and presses a kiss to the back of it, eyes squeezed shut. It says a lot about Jack’s emotional state that he almost acknowledges the thing between them that they don’t talk about. Mac knows they should probably talk about that, should stop letting it fester until they end up hurting each other again.

But that’s a discussion for when Jack is back in LA, safe and sound, and after at least several weeks if not months of therapy.

For now, Mac lets his voice soften and tips his head forward until it rests against Jack’s shoulder.

“You’re an idiot,” Mac mumbles into Jack’s shirt.

“What?”

“Do you have any idea how much I love you?” Mac lets himself acknowledge the depths of his feelings for his partner out loud for the very first time. Jack stiffens under him.

“Mac-“

“I’m not leaving without you. I know what happened Jack and I _know_ how Kovacs died. Do you really think, after everything we’ve been through, that I wouldn’t follow you to the ends of the earth to bring you home?”

“You know-?” Jack asks and then groans with disbelief. He draws Mac closer with one hand on his back and chuckles into the sweaty blond strands of Mac’s too long hair.

“Let me guess – Boucher? Should have known you’d know the genius MIT graduate with a love of all things explosive.” Jack grabs Mac’s shoulders and pushes him back until he can look into Mac’s eyes.

“You know how much reports sanitize the hell out of what actually happens during an op, Mac. I don’t want you to regret takin’ me home later, ‘cause I’m not sure I can let you go again once I’ve got you.”

Mac smiles. The pain in Jack’s eyes is still there, even if diminished slightly, and they’ve resolved nothing, but it feels like they've finally taken a step in the right direction.

“Then don’t – let me go I mean. Come home with me, Jack.”

Jack does. 


End file.
